Yo yo yo! Its been quite awhile since i last blogged. Been very very busy! In fact i am working at this point of time. haha. no customers at cathay, super relaxed..

I had my graduation show last week from thurs to sun.. it was great! Even though i didn't put in much effort for the grad show, it turned out to be a really fun time and in a way emotional exhibition. Knowing that i'll be graduating, really made me realize that 3 years just flew by.. I really miss all the times i had in school with my classmates and feelings of nostalgia just filled me on tues morning. haha. Kinda weird becos i've not been attending sch regularly. But ya know, sometimes we humans just don't appreciate things as much when we have them. But we can still have gatherings and outings.. in fact, we are going sentosa tmr as a class!

Other than that, had so many things to do. I've to design a logo for my zone's camp. So even after graduating i've like still got projects. sianzzz... but its good! I will help build up my portfolio which i intend to apply to NTU.. Whether or not i wanna continue studying or not is another thing.. In fact, i suddenly feel that my future is so uncertain. But i guess most likely after SOT i won't be going to study.. Yeah man.. constraints.. but i'm willing to make this sacrifice!

Okay.. I'm gonna off work soon. Still deciding if i should go for dance.. Not feeling to energetic though.

I don't know whats up with me man.. everything seems so gloomy and dull these few days.. I get damn frustrated thinking about the work i need to show for my graduation show! ARGH! What to do? God help me man..

Anyway, i God is good! I've had great fellowship the past few weeks, its like i've got so many different groups of friends that i don't even know how to cope meeting all in a week. At least i know these friends won't leave me in a lurch when i need them. And i treasure each and everyone of them. You guys know who u are.. =)

Ohh, and N283! I love you guys! Repertoire is coming! Jia You!

11 more days to graduation!
26 more days to SOT!

Today is one of those days whereby i really got pissed. I've got a stinking attitude now. I'm pissed becos i really did try, and what happened? I was disappointed again. I feel like a jerk and so insignificant once again. What must i do?! I just get so lonely and tired so many times, that i'm sick of it. On top of that, my injured ankle is like making things worse too. Damn.

The higher your hope, the bigger the disappointments sometimes.

I've been pondering for sometime now about a question that keeps coming to my mind. That question ( As you all know from the title), is "What is love?" Love comes in so may different forms and ways. You got brotherly love, love for God, love for friends, motherly love, romantic love and so much more.

Is love just about the feelings that we have for each other and don't have to show it? How do we determine the right way to love someone? Hugging? Giving? Sharing? All these can be done without love, to me. When i say i love you, it need not be true. Its only words. In my opinion love is expressing.No matter who you love, be it brother, sisters, girlfriends or friends. It takes two hands to claps, one cannot just expect to receive and reap all the benefits while the other has to go through all sorts challenges to make things work out. There should be a relationship between 2 people. And the essence to any great relationship is love.

Well, loving people requires an effort. To love another is to make a decision to benefit others at the expense of yourself. To lay down your life, to sacrifice at the expense of your own well being, to treat people well.. despite they treating you poorly. Yes, these are the way to love people. But the small actions count a lot too, especially if you are in a relationship. It determines how someone feels about himself, and if you love someone i'm sure you'll want that person to feel good and feel significant to you. Things like just asking about how have they been doing, being there for them whenever they need you. Body Language. Replying text messages when they expect you to. Saying edifying words that will make them feel good. All these may seem insignificant to you, but sometimes it can make a whole lot of difference in the lives of someone.

By replying text messages shows that you bother to reply, the other party would feel that he/she is important. And when problems do surface, don't just keep quiet and expect things to go away. Because things never go away, they are kept in the heart and one day it will all explode out. When talking, don't let the other party feel that he is talking rubbish by giving an attitude that you already know. But you're still doing it despite he/she not liking it.

In case you think i'm some love doctor or something, i'm really not. I'm writing all these because i'm really having my doubts about love and all. Why? My experiences (those who know, i'm not just talking about one person here) , I've made my fair share of mistakes. But sometimes i think to myself, is it all worthy? Is it worth the sacrifice i make? Does love really make the world go round? Well, as you can see i don't really beieve that its all worthy at this point. To me, love isn't all sweet and nice. But its painful, its torturing and makes me just wanna give up on everything at times. Is it really worthy to go through all this pain?

Sometimes i don't quite understand the human behaviour. Are we all just fair weathered people? Where the situation is rosy and so easy to get by, you know? So easy to love someone isn't it? But when the weathers turns gloomy and all, suddenly everything become so uncertain for us. You get up and leave and never think back about the "good old days". Suddenly, you find it so tough to love this person. You can't be with him/her because its "too tough". Ya right..

Yeah, thats all i gotta say, sorry for all the negatives in this post but as you can see i'm not really in the best of moods. And later on, i'm gonna give BS. Guess what topic i'll be covering on... Yeah LOVE. God help me here..

I'm kinda stressed right now.. Well, i should be doing my work now, but i really don't have the mood. I'm really trying to break free from my procrastinating which is really costing me. I've had too long a layoff myself that i can't start my work engines to do my work! God help me! God hates laziness, and right now i am VERY lazy! haha.

Well, hope i can get the momentum going soon! The week has past by in a blink of an eye, Okay not really in a blink but quite fast. And i'm really lagging behind in Final Year Project.. I don't even know what i'm supposed to do and its like due on a months time! On top of that, i've got my grad show thingy that i need to do and plan. Stressed to the max now, but that's not surprising as i've not been working hard for the past 4 months.

And to make matters worse, since sunday after Hooper's birthday picnic (which was really enjoyable as we got to play some pranks on him. Ohh, and hooper is like gonna plan one for me next year.. haha. Maybe i'll book a flight out or something. =p ), i've not really been feeling too good. The flu bug caught up with me, and not only me. Shaun and Constance are 2 other victims. haha. Today, we met up for lunch! Actually you could consider it "tea time". So it was quite intriguing to us that we were all sick, sitting together and having a meal.

Well, the year hasn't really started out too well for me YET. Had my ups and downs and have been a teeny bit unfortunate with parking tickets ( Don't ask! I've got 3 in the past week alone!). But believing for greater things ahead! Ohh yeah, can u believe it i'm graduating in abt 54 more days?! That increases the pressure. BUT! After i graduate, SOT here i come! I'm excited but a little nervous at the same time, but i believe that its gonna be great and a time that will increase my faith, my knowledge of the bible, and many many more things! On top of that, i'm gonna have great company! But for now, i gotta get back to my work! Sianzzz...

Goodbye 2008.. Hello 2009!

I don't know about you, but i'm really excited about this year. A fresh start, new dreams and goals to pursue! If you think about it, today.. which is like NOW is actually the first day of the rest of our lives! Amazing isn't it? But, lets just take it one step at a time and really rethink what i wanna do now.

2008 was not too smooth sailing for me at the end, however valuable lessons can be learnt from the experiences that i had. I realized that i wasn't really ready to be a cg leader. I've always thought for the past 2 years, i could become a cgl anytime and that I've been long "overdued" in my desires. My faith was indeed tested. My situation being so secured and stable, knowing where i was heading. To all of a sudden, losing it and having to pick myself up time and time and again. However, God has his timings and He showed me and taught me that i've got areas to improve as a leader and as a shepherd to people.

God, revealed to me that i'm too emotional. I tend to let my emotions take control of me, when i'm unhappy i show it to all my members. And that really shouldn't be the case, people are watching and how can i lead if i am sulking and emo-ing all the time? Well, God has his ways and I'm thankful to Him for teaching me this humbling lesson. God is good all the time, and all the time, God is GOOD! Although, its a tough lesson to learn but in a way, i'm glad it happened because it showed me the light and the truth. And the truth will indeed set you free.. Through this i can only get stronger and stronger. I must admit I've not yet fully recovered from what happend, but I do feel I'm much better and ready to soar to greater heights sooner rather than later!

I also just want to thank all of you, who have been with me and supported me throughout the year. I've got to know some new friends recently, and thank God for new friendships. Thank God for the bond with my cg members who really started to become a part of my life, you have no idea how important you guys are to me. =) And also, thank God for restoring my friendship with someone who is important to me. Thanks for letting go of all the misunderstandings we had and believing in the person i really am. Regaining my friendship with you was really the best thing that happened throughout this whole "experience", and i'm really sorry for getting you involved in it. Also, to my greatest supporter and my best friend, you're the best! Thanks for everything, your leadership, ur listening ears and so much more. You're really important. I love all of you and you guys know who you are. =)

Lastly, to a special someone. A few months ago, you asked me to wake up and look around to know that there are people who really sincerely care about me. Well, now i guess i just want you to know the same thing. That there are people around who really really care about you, and we hope that you'll start to know that you've really changed. We miss you and hope that one day you'll change back to the person we love so dearly.  We can't change you now, and probably you have your reasons that we may not understand, for doing everything that you did. I'm not in any pathetic state anymore, and i hope you'll see that. Also, i pray that you really know what you are doing, and i'll be glad to see you happy. Like what i said before, even if the whole world is against you, I'll still stand beside you and support you even if i don't agree with what you're doing. I'll be a helping hand to you anytime when you need me. I sincerely wish you a blessed and successful year ahead.

Well, the year has started! And i've picked myself up and I believe 2009 is gonna be great! I'll just do my best and trust God for the rest and his provision in every step!

I happen to read about some quotations about life. Felt God speaking somethings to me and i would like to share it. Here is what i've got... I hope it can bless those who read this. =) It did make me realize somethings in my life, and i would not want you to make the same mistakes that i have made. Most probably i won't have a second chance, but you have this chance so grab it..